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So your kid is in twelfth grade now!

High school is coming to an end, and a lot is changing. Turning 18 is a huge milestone. Graduation will be here before you know it. Parenting isn’t easy, but we want you to know that we’re here for you. Every kid is different, but here are some things that we think could help and be good to know.

One question we believe almost every twelfth grader is asking is, "Who do I want to become?" Twelfth graders are no longer kids. They are technically responsible for themselves (although they will still need you to pick up their pieces from time to time.) With this understanding of responsibility, the question of who they want to be will weigh heavily on their mind. They are about to enter the wide world, and they want to know how they fit into it and the difference they’ll make. They are also thinking about their faith in the same way. At CCStudents, we try to provide a space for conversations where they can think about who God wants them to be and give them opportunities to see what they can do.

They are decisive and capable. At this point, your student will likely have an opinion of faith based on what they have experienced. They might get more involved at their current church, move to a new church, or perhaps stop going to church altogether. When you talk with your senior about what is next for them, include conversations about how they will find and serve in a faith community.

Your role in your child's life is to fuel their passion.

This is an important phase for you to pour in your support. Remember that they haven’t spent time working through the pressures of life the way you have. They might be “adults” now, but they are new adults. Ask them if they need help managing these adult tasks they have now inherited, and there will likely be a lot. You will be giving them the tools and the fuel to take off like a rocket into adulthood, and to do so successfully.

They are more capable than ever: They are juggling a lot. There’s keeping their GPA up, applying for college, applying for scholarships, graduation, preparing for what’s next, jobs, doing many things for the last time, serious relationships, etc. They are worrying about these things as much as you are. They will be strapped for time and stressed out. Take time to check in with them and see how they're doing. Remind them that you are proud of and love them!

They are emotionally developed: You might find your student drawing closer emotionally. You are no longer “uncool.” Take advantage of the time you have with them! You might have to schedule it more than you used to, but that’s what adults do! Try to enjoy the present with them while everything else is pulling them into the future.

Ways Your Child is Changing.

PHYSICALLY

  • Has difficulty falling asleep before 11 pm (it’s biological), but needs 9 hours of sleep.
  • Girls have reached adult height and body development.
  • Boys may continue to grow in height, muscle mass, and body/facial hair.

SOCIALLY

  • More interest in sexual expression.
  • Wants to feel ownership of personal decisions.
  • Shows respect for others' opinions.
  • At ease around other adults.

MENTALLY

  • May over romanticize or catastrophize.
  • Open to discussing current affairs and social issues.
  • Capable of complex problem solving.
  • Still needs support when it comes to long-term planning.

EMOTIONALLY

  • More emotionally stable with less outbursts.
  • Has likely found their particular area of interest, and they thrive there.
  • Values being true to themselves.
  • Demonstrates initiative for personal interests.

The Three Most Important Things to Remember.

If you would like help or ideas on how to do any of these things, we are always here to help!

Resources We Recommend.

Books.

If you’re unable to afford any of these resources, please let us know—we’d love to help!

Teach Your Children Well
This book gives a brilliant, effective and yet simple perspective on how we can help our kids form a deep relationship with Jesus. This is for all of us imperfect parents with limited time and capacity.
Parenting Your Twelfth Grader
This has a lot of blank pages for processing questions which isn’t for everyone, but the other pages are full of very insightful information and practical advice or ideas that can help clarify how to engage with your kid.
Seen
This short read is incredibly helpful in knowing how to respond to a kid who’s experiencing more anxiety or sadness than normal.
Beyond the Spiral
A companion book to Seen, but written to teenagers and young adults to help them understand and manage their anxiety. This could be a great book to go through together with your student if that's something they're experiencing.
The Primal Teen
This comes from a psychological perspective that gives insight into why teenagers think (or don’t think) in unexpected ways. A good book for science nerds.
Meet Generation Z
This book offers an incredibly insightful look into how your kid’s generation thinks and engages with spirituality.
Every Parent's Guide to Navigating Our Digital World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.
Parenting in a Tech World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.

Podcasts/Websites.

The Bible App
The majority of kids today don’t use a physical Bible regularly. If you teach them how to engage the Bible through an app, you’re teaching them to use the version of the Bible they always have in their pocket. That’s a win! If you want your kid to read the Bible, the most effective way to develop that habit is to do it with them.
Parent Cue Blog
This website is crammed with tons of articles on many subjects with practical helpful advice.
The Parenteen Podcast with Dr. Chap Clark
This bare-bones podcast gets straight to the heart of what teenagers need and long for most.
Hi, I'm Adam Hoppe!

I’m the Youth Pastor at Christ Community. I'm thrilled to partner with you in guiding and discipling your student. They are the leaders of today, anointed with compassion, inclusion, and a passion for change. Student ministry involves the entire family, so if I can support you or if you'd like to grab a coffee, please reach out!

CCStudents is for seventh through twelfth graders and meets every Wednesday from 6-8 pm at Zoe's Cafe in downtown Greeley.